Here we are, midway through October! That seems a little crazy to me. In my mind, summer wasn’t that long ago. But I have been thoroughly enjoying hot chocolate, pumpkin spice lattes, chai tea as well as fluffy sweaters and fleece sheets. Needless to say we have fallen head over heels for fall around here!
With October also comes a very special celebration for Ollie. He just turned three on Sunday the 14th! We had a roaring celebration complete with a dinosaur cake that he has been talking about since he was two and a quarter. What can I say, the little man knows what he likes! With every year, it has been so fun to see him grow as a little person. Just today he rode his own tricycle all by himself. At the beginning of this summer the man couldn’t even touch the pedals, let alone balance! He pedaled his way down the sidewalk weaving back and forth like a little drunken sailor until all of a sudden he stopped. He had gotten stuck in the grass and was having a hard time wiggling his wheels free. As Declan and I got a little closer, I heard this small voice, “Mom, I am so frustrated right now!” He began to explain how he couldn’t do it and was all mad at himself for needing help. Guiding him back into the middle of the sidewalk, we walked through the importance of steering and he was back on his way. Continuing our walk, he would get distracted here and there and find the grass again. But every time he would not get frustrated or upset, he would just call, “need a little help over here”!
How true is that in our everyday life? I find myself on a daily basis asking for help or a little guidance to get me back on track. Recently, I have been struggling with anxiety attacks. On more than one occasion Ethan has found me on the shower floor, arms wrapped close around me, rocking back and forth. That is my safe place. But not every time that those attacks come, is the shower a viable option. Many times they occur when it’s just me and the boys. Ollie has become quite good at knowing that when he sees mommy crying that she just needs a hug. It comes naturally to him now to hold my hand as I let the tears flow, like he heard my silent plea of “need a little help over here”. He sits until he sees me smile and I let him know that I am okay.
It’s okay to not have it all together. It’s alright to feel like your world has been turned upside down. It’s not okay to deal with it alone. Every day I wake up and ask God to bless our day as well as give me strength to get through whatever may happen that day. So if you feel like you are all alone, you aren’t. God is always with you but there are also an abundance of women around you that are feeling the same way too. Sometimes it’s just hard to break open that shell and let it all out. Because I get it, it’s not pretty and many of us are embarrassed to talk about it. So I am breaking the shell and letting it all out. My name is Hannah Bohlman and I suffer from anxiety attacks. Even now, writing that to all of you is a little scary! Ahhh! But I hope it helps some of you realize that underneath all of us is a little crazy and its okay!
Happy Thursday everyone! Cinderella On!