Expectations…

Happy Thursday Everyone! Hope you all had a great two weeks. Christmas has officially hit the store with sparkles, buffalo check and the sweet notes of Christmas songs of old. This is always my favorite season for the store. The richness of the reds, greens and the gently flocked pine branches bring so many memories of traditions and family times.

Our family started a new tradition this year, Friendsgiving, with our honorary family. There are only six of us and our two little men but what a fun time was had by all. Too much food was made and eaten. New recipes were tried on the fly and happy smiles were ever present. Now this being mid October, we realize that we are a bit early on our holiday celebrations but November and December bring with them a crazy amount of family get together’s between the Bohlman and Jessee households. So early we are but even with as chill as the day was, for this Momma, it still had its moments of being too much.

Massive amounts of food!
Our Fall Mantle that Ethan designed for me! Didn’t he do a great job?!

Being a person with anxiety and the need to host in the perfect home (toys in their places, everything spotless, kids in cute clothes) I easily get overwhelmed with even the simplest of get together’s. At every event, Ethan has to pull me aside and tell me to make myself scarce for a few minutes to, in his words, reset my brain. It works, every time. Stepping away and not seeing the food all over the floor or the walking menu all over Declan’s shirt, just to breathe and realize that it doesn’t matter. As I sit in our dark room, the laughter, delicious smells and chatter drift back to me and I can’t help the feeling of joy wash those anxious thoughts away. Not a single one of our friends care if the house is spotless or if they need to pitch in with the dishes. So why do the Holidays put so many of us on edge?

Taking a much needed walk to “Reset my Brain” with my little man. As Ollie has gotten bigger he is so much more in tune with my emotions and can generally tell when I need a minute. He will often suggest a walk or even just comes over with a big “squeeze the stuffins right out” hug.

Is there this unspoken rule of hosting that everything needs to be flawless? Or that the hostess can’t have a mental break down in the corner, because I guarantee you that every single one of us has had that moment. Slowly but surely I am trying to break the mold of expectations for events that holds my heart hostage. With each event that we host, I feel a little bit more of it crumble. Now, I’m sure that by the time the boys are married, I might have fully broken it but who cares right, progress is progress.

It all comes down to expectations. For me, these expectations are unwritten and probably have not even been spoken but it is just a feeling in my heart of what an event needs or what is socially expected of me to do. How ridiculous right? Ethan and I have a very laid back home. We don’t expect to entertain our guests, who has time for that and for the most part, we are all adults. Our friends realize that they are always welcome, there is always food in the fridge and the couch is comfy for the night. So why, when a label has been put on an event does it seem to have to meet expectations? I’m not sure to be honest.

The playroom in our home. It’s rare that it looks this put together!

So as we embark on this holiday season, please do not lose who you are when you host or attend events. Don’t let others expectations or even the unspoken expectations dictate how you celebrate. Be as fancy or as laid back as you need to be and let it go. The dishes, food and the house can all be set back to rights later on. Enjoy the fellowship of other people and don’t forget that it is ok to step away to enjoy a moment of peace to “reset the brain”. It really does wonders! Have a wonderful two weeks !

P.S. We are heading to see Ollie’s specialist at Helen Devos here in town this coming Tuesday. Prayers are always appreciated. Hopefully, she will be able to resend a referral for surgery and it will pass through insurance with flying colors.

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