Hi Everyone! I thought I would share today about a topic that makes me uncomfortable. Growing up in a home of four brothers, beauty was not high on the list of priorities. The perfect spiral throw, dodging balls and sneaking into my brothers rooms undetected were probably my top three. As I grew older, I looked to my mom for guidance. She is the essence of natural beauty. Not a smidge of makeup could be seen for as long as I can remember and still she has this radiant glow about her. With that being said, I have never felt the need to wear make up, like ever.
Fast forward to last week, where I learned something quite disturbing about myself. I was sitting in the eye doctor, getting my yearly check up. Stacy, my eye doctor was asking about contacts and if I was interested in getting them again. I said yes and she immediately had me over to the mirror to put them in, a skill I hadn’t used in about five years. My face grew red and blotchy, as I struggled to get these darn things in my eyes until finally after 10 minutes, I had done it!
Ethan and I had talked about the decision of contacts before I went and he was very excited to see me without my glasses all the time. I was horrified. My glasses are my shield. I’m not sure when that happened but at some point down the road, the thought developed that if my glasses were on my face, I was ready to face the world. I walked out of that office with my shield in my purse, contacts in my eyes, feeling totally unprotected. How silly, right?! As I drove home, the only though in my head was to get home before the boys got home from school. I burst through the door and headed straight for the bathroom, searching frantically for the make up bag that I have used maybe twice in the last year. Some kind of face concealer went on first, being pushed around, by I’m sure is the wrong brush or tool. Then mascara. As I took in my appearance, the heart rate dropped and I felt protected once again. Now I was ready to show my husband what I looked like without glasses. Funny thing is, Ethan has seen me without glasses as well as make up every single day of our married life. But today I had to hide. What is up with that?
Since my appointment, I have worn glasses every day save two. Why? Part of me thinks that I don’t want to face the ridiculous fact that I feel the need to wear make up with contacts and no make up without them. To make it worse, my glasses broke days ago! I would rather wear broken glasses than show my naked face with contacts. Now in no way am I saying that make up is evil or wrong. In fact, I think it’s fun to throw a little on once in a while and celebrate that I actually know how, because my friends, it has been a long road of teaching me, just ask my dear friend Beth. What’s wrong, was my attachment to the fact that if I wear this, I am pretty and if I don’t, I am worse than the ugly duckling.
In 1 Peter 3:3-4 it says “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” When I read this verse, I immediately think of my Mom. Her beauty radiates from within her in a way that shows the world her gentleness and kindness without even saying a word. I strive to be that way. To not have to rely on earthly things to help me feel safe, protected and beautiful but rather to shine from the inside. I would love to snatch back my confidence of my tom-boy self growing up and not care what other’s thought or care about what society throws in our face as the definition of beauty.
What is beautiful to you? Whatever it may be, I challenge you to take a closer look behind your reasonings. Is your beauty based on what other people have told you that you need to do in order to look beautiful or is your beauty based within. If your beauty is truly based within, go girl! Rock that confidence and inner glow with everything you have! If not, know that you aren’t alone. I’m over here working on it too. Just remember “You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is not flaw in you.”- Song of Solomon 4:7
Side note: We head to Boston next week for Ollie’s appointments. It is a 15 hour drive for us and we would greatly appreciate your prayers!