Merry Christmas Eve! Hope you all have been well since we chatted last. Update on my bedroom, the closet doors are in! They are beautiful and I love them. I will update on function in a few weeks to see if having only one side of my closet accessible at a time is driving me bonkers, so far so good though. The bathroom just needs a few trim pieces and then that room will be ready to share as well! So many projects that are finally coming to completion around here is doing my heart some good. Have you been able to put the finishing touches on a project lately? It feels good right?!?
Anyway, I wanted to share about a moment I have had these past few weeks that hit home hard for me. Every year we have tried to make the drive over to Bronner’s Christmas store. For some reason, the last two years we haven’t been able to make it but this was one tradition that I really didn’t want to fade away. So we packed our road food, backpacks full of activities and masks to keep the tradition alive. Walking in we passed the nativity scenes and the mini towns. The stockings and tree skirts taking in the wonder as we went. But the ornaments were the sole purpose of our trip. Our goal is to try to find one ornament that sums up our year for each person. For Ollie, the choice was simple. He started soccer this year and immediately found the soccer section. Finding, his perfect choice, the man was ready to leave but the rest of us still needed more time so we hunted a little more.
Declan, is a hard one for us at times. The little man is so particular in everything that it was hard for him to settle on anything. He loves to bake and that is something that we have done A LOT of this year together, but he wasn’t willing to settle for any of those. Singing, book reading and cars are all top of his list as well. But what he settled on was a little man on a bike. It took Declan all summer long to try his balance bike and it wasn’t until he saw Ollie riding without training wheels that he decided that he could do it too! This was a big year for outdoor activities for us. Everyday included a bike ride to the park or a walk around the neighborhood. Goodness, they were still riding their bikes this past Sunday!
For Ethan, he went the joyful route. Instead of finding the mask ornaments for 2020 and being content with that, he tried to find something that truly summed up our year. We wandered forever before finding a rollercoaster ornament. All the happy colors and excitement that revolves around a rollercoaster, I never would have picked it but isn’t it perfect? There have been so many ups and downs this year. Some very colorful happy memories but also some pretty dark terrible ones. But the thing is, we are riding it together and experiencing those moments together.
As the time passed and the boys grew antsy, I still couldn’t find the perfect ornament for me. Ollie was my shopping partner and we wandered around forever. Growing weary, I finally stopped in the butterfly section, content to just pick something and be done. But then the flood came. As I stared at the insects taking flight all around, I realized, that I didn’t have a clue what I was looking for. There was too much that had happened this year to try to sum it up in one little ornament. What in the world could represent uncertainty, extreme loneliness, panic, inexplicable joy, family, strength, the list could go on and on. I blinked back tears and walked away fine with the fact that what I was looking for was impossible.
Then we entered the color coded section and into the purple ornaments. Purple is my happy color, always has been. It is my go to for everything and I immediately felt the weight lift off of my shoulders. The section was small and filled with variations of purple in the traditional ornament shapes. At first glance I saw one that summed up our year. The background a deep swirling purple, light in some areas, very dark in others. But then there was a feather like design painted on top drawing it all together and creating beauty amidst the chaos. In my cart it went with no hesitation.
Here I was looking aimlessly around for something that would represent our year. But what I really should have been doing was looking inside my own heart and processing those feelings that have been locked away for months. It’s a hard thing to do and something I suggest maybe doing at home and not in the middle of Bronner’s Christmas store but hey, you do you. So before we enter into a new year in the next week, process those feelings from 2020. Make peace with the year that we have had and leave it here. Don’t bring the hurt and anger or loneliness into your next year, it isn’t worth it.
A few of you have asked for an Oliver update so here it is! Ollie has been doing amazing the past few months. Trucking along, loving school and keeping my dining room forever messy with craft supplies. Recently he went to the dentist and they found a few cavities on his left side. That’s a big deal since we don’t want his cheek getting infected. So we immediately got his appointment scheduled to take care of that. Countless phone calls between his specialist, his dentist and me since they need to inject a numbing medication along side of his malformation. The day came for Ollie’s appointment and those many hours proved to be a waste. Ethan was there with Ollie for about two hours before the dentist came in to say that we didn’t have the right paperwork and he was not willing to take care of Ollie’s cavities. This is frustrating for us since Ollie had to start taking antibiotics before his appointment. For this reason and for a few others, we have started looking for a new dentist for him. One that is willing to take the risk and liability that goes along with Ollie. So we have a consultation this coming Monday if you could keep us in your prayers. Otherwise, Ollie’s health has been great!
We hope you all have a wonderful Christmas, however you choose to celebrate! Next time we chat, it will be 2021!