The words, “He flicked me in the head so I hit him with a wrench in the arm”, filtered into my ears this morning as the boys explained their most recent scream out. Head in my hands, I was discouraged.
There always seems to be this need to hurt others worse then you have been hurt. A chance to one up the other person and establish dominance, or something. This is a daily happening at our house and one that has been such a hard habit to break from these boys. But isn’t that just a natural instinct? Strike harder and maybe that leaves you feeling better?
Being a parent gives you the opportunity to be continually teaching your babies how to be good people who hopefully grow up into good adults but man is it exhausting! There have definitely been times where I have let them work it out and sometimes they get it sorted but the times when it escalates, it is so hard. Hard to reason with them, hard to express the reasons why we never treat others without respect. But hopefully these hard moments now will lead to better experiences in the future.
We owe our kids the best that we have to have to give them because right now they are making mistakes within our homes and can be corrected with love. Guiding them towards the correct decisions while in a safe place will hopefully give them a step up later as they leave the nest and venture out on their own. I laugh as I write “on their own” because I still make my way back to my parents every week for dinner but you know, there will always be that safe space at my parents house. A place that I know is always available for whenever my family needs it. I hope in the future our boys will say the same about our home.
So if you are in the daily grind of scream out fights, fist fights, throwing toys or are just starting out with that newborn. I see you. I know those feelings of overwhelm, of giving so much your energy level is literally in your toes. Take a breath, leave the dirty dishes, heaps of laundry, and the mass amount of clutter. No I’m serious, don’t touch it. Sit down, cuddle with your kids, take a nap or throw on a movie in the middle of the day. Recharge those batteries so you don’t give up.
Keep teaching your babies to be good people, to respect others and to radiate kindness. There will be wrench’s thrown in the mix, see what I did there, but don’t give up. Create the safe place they need to figure out all of those emotions and how to deal with them. Chin up, we got this!